澳洲留学essay写作技巧篇

Ray

       《长大》这篇essay形式 上讨论了申请者(Shim)的身高问题和性格特点，事实上深度挖掘了以上两点对其人生的影响。Shim的写作方式让读者感受到身高给他带来的挫败感，在他与家人、朋友和同龄人的相处中，这个身体上的特点对他看待自己的方式上起了至关重要的作用。这篇essay成功主要是因为其坦诚、直接和切中要害的特点。文章的开头“我很矮”很清晰的向读者传递了文章的主旨信息。随着文章的继续，shim表露了他的内心感受和很多愿望，他让我们切身感受到他在得知自己再也 不会长高时那一刻的心情，读者仿佛在一段旅程中了解到shim的变化。身材矮小塑造影响了shim的世界观，并且没有削弱他追求自己目标的信念。他能意识到身材矮小的优劣势，最可贵的是，他能用一种非常有深度的方式将这些优劣势表达清楚。此外，这篇essay不仅让我们看到shim对于身材矮小的一些想 法，重要的是，他让我们看到了他在政治、太空探索、体育和艺术等多方面的兴趣。Shim并没直说他的身高如何没有限制他，但是他用事实来说明了他的身高为 何没有限制他。

给大家整理了一篇哈佛大学优秀essay原文及解析：

“Growing Up”

I’m short. I’m five footfive – well, five foot six if I want to impress someone. If the average heightof American men is five foot ten, that means I’m nearly half a foot shorterthan the average Joe out there. And then there are the basketball players. Myheight has always been something that’s set me apart; it’s helped define me.It’s just that as long as I can remember, I haven’t liked the definition verymuch. Every Sunday in grade school my dad and I would watch ESPN PrimetimeFootball. Playing with friends at home, I always imagined the booming ESPNvoice of Chris Berman giving the play-by-play of our street football games. Butno matter how well I performed at home with friends, during school recess thestigma of “short kid” stuck with me while choosing teams.

开头简单明了，吸引人。谈身高很矮曾经使他被伙伴排除在外;谈到自己喜欢看ESPN的节 目，并谈到自己曾经想象着ESPN的解说员Chris Berman能给他和伙伴的足球比赛来一次现场解说。也说到即便自己足球的表现很优秀，在校队选队员的时候，他也还是被贴上“小个子”的标签。对自己的情 况有认知，有小孩天马行空的想法。令人耳熟能详的ESPN和解说员Chris Berman也容易引起读者的共鸣。

Still concerned as senioryear rolled along, I visited a growth specialist. Pacing the exam room in ashaky, elliptical orbit worried, “What if I’ve stopped growing? Will my socialstatus forever be marked by my shortness?” In a grade school dream, I imaginedChris “ESPN” Berman’s voice as he analyzed the fantastic catch I had made for atouchdown when – with a start – the doctor strode in. damp with nervous sweat,I sat quietly with my mom as he showed us the X-ray taken of my hand. The bonesin my seventeen-year-old body had matured. I would not grow any more. Whoa. Iclenched the steering wheel in frustration as I drove home. What good were mygrades and “college transcript” achievements when even my friends poked fun ofthe short kid? What good was it to pray, or to genuinely live a life of love? Nomatter how many Taekwondo medals I had won, could I ever be considered trulyathletic in a wiry, five foot five frame? I could be dark and handsome, butcould I ever be the “tall” in “tall, dark and handsome”? All I wanted wassomeone special to look up into my eyes; all I wanted was someone to ask,“Could you reach that for me?”

讲述自己去检查身体的过程，提出“如果我不能长高可怎么办”，然后马上列出自己的一个想象：由于有优势的身高，完成了完美的接球。然后突然转折，说到自己 得知再也不会长高。I clenched the steering wheel in frustration as I drove home.这句话也让人仿佛看到shim沮丧的样子。他觉得如果自己无法再长高，那即便自己再成功，又有什么意义呢?读到这，读者就很想知道，接下来 shim的这些疑问是怎么解答的。

It’s been hard to dealwith. I haven’t answered all those questions, but I have learned that heightisn’t all it’s made out to be. I ‘d rather be a shorter, compassionate personthan a tall tyrant. I can be a giant in so many other ways: intellectually,spiritually and emotionally.

Shim没有直接回答上面提出的问题，但是他得出了自己的结论，也许自己身高不可能再长高，但是他可以成为知识的巨人、精神上的巨人或感情上的巨人。

I’ve ironically growntaller from being short. It’s enriched my life. Being short has certainly hadits advantages. During elementary school in earthquake-prone California forexample, my teachers constantly praised my “duck and cover” skills. The schoolbudget was tight and the desks were so small an occasional limb could always beseen sticking out. Yet Chris Shim, “blessed” in height, always managed tosqueeze himself into a compact and safe fetal position. The same quality haspaid off in hide-and-go-seek. (I’m the unofficial champion on my block.)

这段讲到shim发现其实矮也有矮的好。比如，在地震的时候，他可以灵活自如的躲到别人躲不进去的桌子下面，而且在社区里，他也是捉迷藏时的“非正式冠 军”。他用这种看上去有些自嘲的方式展示了自己的乐观积极。值得一提的是，shim还提到The school budget was tight and thedesks were so small 这种非常细节的信息，非常有趣幽默。

Lincoln once debated withSenator Stephen A. Douglas – a magnificent orator, nationally recognized as theleader of the Democratic Party of 1858… and barely five feet four inches tall.It seems silly, but standing on the floor of the Senate last year I rememberedSenator Douglas and imagined that I would one day debate with a 4 futurepresident. (It helped to have a tall, lanky, bearded man with a stove-top hattalk with me that afternoon.) But I could just as easily become an astronaut,if not for my childlike, gaping-mouth-eyes-straining wonderment of the stars,then maybe in the hope of growing a few inches (the spine spontaneously expandsin the absence of gravity).

主要讲述自己在政治上和天文上的兴趣，同样描写生动的细节。

Even at five feet, sixinches, the actor Dustin Hoffman held his own against Tome Cruise in the movieRainman and went on to win his second Academy Award for Best Actor. Michael J.Fox (5’5”) constantly uses taller actors to his comedic advantage. Height hasenhanced the athleticism of “Muggsy” Bogues, the shortest player in the historyof the NBA at five foot three. He’s used that edge to lead his basketball teamin steals (they don’t call him “Muggsy” for nothing). Their height has put nolimits to their work in the arts or athletics. Neither will mine.

shim列举了两个很成功的“矮个子”的成功人士，一方面表明他用这些人物来激励自己，二是他似乎让我们看到了他未来的样子。

I’m five foot five. I’vestruggled with it at times, but I’ve realized that being five-five can’t stopme from joining the Senate. It won’t stem my dream of becoming an astronaut (Ieven have the application from NASA). My height can’t prevent me from directinga movie and excelling in Taekwondo (or even basketball). At five foot five Ican laugh, jump, run, dance, write, paint, help, volunteer, pray, love and cry.I can break 100 in bowling. I can sing along to Nat King Cole. I can reciteAudrey Hepburn’s lines from Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I can run the mile in undersix minutes, dance like a wild monkey and be hopelessly wrapped up in a goodbook (though I have yet to master the ability to do it all at once). I’velearned that my height, even as a defining characteristic, is only a part ofthe whole. It won’t limit me. Besides, this way I’ll never outgrow my favoritesweater.

他曾经因为自己的身高而困 扰，但是他现在意识到身高的问题不会阻挡他的任何一个愿望和理想，身高只是生命和生活的一小部分而已。在结尾，shim也没有抒情或者使用假大空的句式， 一句简单的Besides, this wayI’ll never outgrow my favorite sweater.将他幽默风趣的性格特点展示地淋漓尽致，引人会心一笑。

首先Essay重要到什么地步呢?

Essay的重要性是你本科申请过程可以占到总过程的二分之一~

其次是Essay主要考察什么呢?

其实Essay主要考察一个人的思维方式，思维方式是国外院校比较重视的一方面，它是性格，情感，智力和道德的综合反映，学校会通过这些因素来评估申请人是否具有潜力，也就是说学校更看重申请人灵魂里的东西以及对生活的态度。一般字数要求500words以内。

上面的两个问题呢是让很多同学纠结的问题，看这个Essay都感觉无从下手，那我们就针对Essay问题做一个详细解析吧，然后还会附赠Essay优秀范文哦~

我们把大学规定的TOPIC做一个简单的归纳，然后就会发现除了少数几个学校的Essay话题稍显另类之外，其他大部分学校一般都会提出或者涉及如下几类Essay要求：回忆类，描述你的成长经历，自省类，启发类，憧憬类等等。下面做一下简单的举例：

1.评价你的一个重要经历、成就、风险决定、或者你曾面对的两难选择的经历，并评价对你造成的影响。英文原文是：Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken,or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

2.讨论某个个人的、地区性的、国家 性的、或国际性的关注话题以及对你的重要性。英文原文是：Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or internationalconcern and its importance to you.

3.说明一个对你有重要影响的人并描述对你的影响。英文原文是：Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, anddescribe that influence.

4.描述一个影响你的人物并说明对你的影响，该人物可以是小说中的、历史中的、或者某创新性作品(比如在艺术、音乐、科学等方面)中的。英文原文 是：Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creativework (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, andexplain that influence.

5.一系列诸如学术兴趣、个人前途、生活经历等能够显著增添教育多样性的事情。结合你个人的背景，描述一个可以说明你将会带给大学社区的多元化带来何种贡献的经历，或者一个表明多元化对你有重要意义的经历。英文原文是：A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and lifeexperiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background,describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversityin a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance ofdiversity to you.

6.题目自拟

看完这些解析你有没有一点思路了呢?若还没有，那就背诵上面选的那篇优秀的essay。